My Graduate

A Graduation Gift

This all came to me as I was on an early morning run in Gainseville this morning. I am here this weekend for my daughter's college Graduation from The University of Florida-Gator Nation. Suddenly ,as I was running on unfamilar streets an campus so much made sense to me...so many questions I have asked myself over the years....all so clear. I ran back to the Hilton,almost dancing back as Lady GaGa buzzed through my head compliments of my IPod.I didn't bring my computer so I yanked out some hotel stationary and started writing it all down....running out of paper so continuing on envelopes. So Rebecca here goes.....The graduation yesterday was a large event. It was crowded, hot,but I ignored all the external discomforts,This was my oldest and therefore first child to graduate from college and transition further into adulthood and away from my arms of protection.She is off to Volunteer in Israel for a year.(talk about needing long arms!)As her name was called amongst the thousand black cap and gowns,tears welled up, a familiar lump formed in my throat and I found myself standing up and clapping ....yelling her name like a crazy woman or just a really proud mom.My grandmother (Nana Fina) had a great expression on these proud days in our lives."My chest is swelling" , she would say , and even as a little girl I knew that meant she was proud beyond words. But let it be known that my college graduate had turned the tables on me.....Over the past few months I have been nagging her about a graduation gift. Do you want this or that. She really gave me no help saying she really didnt need anything.I kept asking what she would like ,over and over ,...no answer,nothing,nada. Later that evening, we went for a celebratory dinner at Emiliano's which has become a traditional reastaurant outing when we visit her in gainesviile,She eve had asurprise 21st birthday there,Nice memories...After dinner,she showed us around downtown Gainseville and she had to introduce me to her latest love...Mochi's, a self serve chic frozen yogurt place. It was good! honeydew frozen yogurt topped with gummi bears anyone?? As we left with full bellies and a sugar buzz,she blurted out, "you know I am really lucky,I havent had any major obstacles in my life, I've always been happy
as long as I can remember. I never complained because there was nothing to really complain about" she went on, "Alot of people are surprised you are letting me go to Israel,but I guess I have made good decisions so far, so you will keep supporting my decisions"and finally, "not to be conceited but I am a good kid" Wow!!Yes, my daughter is a good person,She gives more than she receives,she is loving, fun, confident, full of life and compassion. For years, as most parents probably do, I questioned my child rearing.Especially after they leave home for college. Have I prepared her to be on her own?Did I show her enough love?Did I teach her to make good decisions?Did I give her enough of myself?...But if I rewind , I hear my daughters words again....and on this ,her graduation weekend...SHE gave me a gift..a graduation gift to last a lifetime..an afirmation of me as her mother. I love my gift my dear Rebecca....and I love you so much, that my "chest is swelling". Now use all you have learned from me, school, Dad,and all your 22 years of life's experience to tackle the world. Find the Joy in life, be happy...All my love forever...Mom