The Thanksgiving Son-pics

- Poste using BlogPress from my iPad




















































Sister and brother





The Maine look





Big sister Rebecca(22)





Mom and awesome son...

The Thanksgiving Son

My 19 year old son,who is presently a film student at NYU.He has the whole package, looks,brains,charm,and a personality exuding confidence,independence and an inner drive to make a success of himself. This is not only a mothers observation , but one I hear from those Who know him well,all the way to those who have met him for the first time.Well today, as he is just beginning to experience the ways of the world,real life away from home,an emotion that I go through on a daily basis, as most parents do,poked it's way into our life today as mother and son...conflict. He has really blossomed over the past year,becoming a man,along with all the rights of an adult including decision making. He always seemed confident in the process he went about coming to a decision,sometimes even scaring me a little seeming to process all the parts of a decision as a man would way beyond his years...thoughtfully,clear, precise...mature.
Well,someone at an Apple store saw his assets and he was offered a coveted job there he had interviewed for last week.This did not surprise me at all( of course I am his mother...why shouldn't they pick him? He was obviously the best candidate over the other several hundred!)But the call telling me of this great opportunity was lacking any excitement in his voice and I would say it boarded on fear.But alas, the true emotion of the phone call was conflict. I should have been intuitive enough to know something was not right because I was blessed with a phone call....the rare event alone should have spawned my instant curiosity. Why call, unless you need something,want permission for something or are......conflicted.A
text or email is much more efficient in his brave new world.So, as I became very excited for him( no lackluster in my voice), he was flat... "there is a glitch" he tells me."If I take the job I can't ask for anytime off between Black Friday and New Years Day." My eyes welled up , my stomach instantly sank to the bathroom floor and the mascara I was applying at the time ended up as a long black smudge on my forehead.I didn't need an explanation,No Thanksgiving together ,no coming home for Christmas break, and we would be going to Israel to visit my daughter who is presently there ,alone.....without him." Mom, what should I do?" I was sucker punched .He just went back to school a few weeks ago and I miss him so much already it physically hurts.I muttered some words I don't even remember, but it was clear,he didn't need the words to know how I was feeling.My insides screaming,"someone give me my son back!" Is this a conspiracy to punish me for something I have done wrong?Why does this hurt so much?After some back and forth conversation in which I really meant to say, "Eric this needs to be your decision" but I realized he was as conflicted as I was and as he has many times in his life he needed my guidance.But I was frozen in my rational thought process.We hung up, without any real guidance from you know who,I'm sure he heard the creaky voice,trying to hold back tears.( After all , my makeup was just about finished...I couldn't start that process over the way I felt now. I failed my son,I was being selfish,thinking of my need to get that great hug at the airport I get when he gets off the plane from school. Missing just being able to look at him. Hear his sometimes cocky, confident voice in person. I thought I had this letting go thing under control, Ha! What a lie, a lie to myself. That rope is stronger than ever, I just got a lot better at hiding it.Suddenly I was ashamed.I am giving back my mother of the year award.
After hanging up, I thought about this conflict for what seemed like hours,and told him to take the job if it wasn't going to interfere with school and that I was supportive and we would deal with holidays as a family,coming up with some type of resolution or modification as best as we can.Following this , I texted a "sermon" to him, appropriate on this Yom Kippur eve. ( tears would have ruined a phone call)My sermon of love,support,and opportunity....my attempt at a resolution of this conflict.He texted me back "it will ruin Thanksgiving" , I replied, "I celebrate Thanksgiving everyday, I give thanks for you" Conflict resolved.